When we are doomed
21 Jan 2009 22:13
21 Jan 2009 22:13
21 Jan 2009 22:13
21 Jan 2009 22:13
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© 2008 James Kanjo
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What was I like? What am I now? What am I going to be?

We tend to have a fascination with time, whether it be the past present or future.

There are people who judge others for something they have done. Then there are other people who say that that isn't fair as it doesn't matter who a person was, but who a person is now. But here comes along another group of people who ask "who are these people to judge somebody for what they are now? Is it not who they are going to be which is the most important?" So what is the most important? Is it the past; the very substance which our very present is the inevitible result of? Is it the present; our current perceptions and behaviour, our constant manipulation of the future? Or is it the future; the word that awaits us now, the result of our current actions and the complete story of our history? Ultimately, we are going about this the wrong way. Even if we discovered what is the most important consideration of time, who are we to question it, to change it?

If we had a tarnished past, what are we going to do to fix it? Move to a place with a new identity and deceive the new population with your fantasised and unblemished history? If we are drowning in the downfall of our very current lives, are we to realise this and give up with the notion of failure? If we have a doomed future, could we not end our lives, embrace the perfection of death? In theory, all of these options are possible, but they have their flaws. In the first case, society eventually will discover the truth of your past, you will not be forgiven or trusted for your lies, and you will need to escape to a new place with a new identity, awaiting for the cycle to repeat itself. Society will recognise the actions of the second synopsis as pathetic laziness, letting people down and becoming an irresponsible mess; there will be no pity, and few people will go out of their way to put you back on track. But in the last case scenario, society will pity and mourn the lost soul. They will empathise with the suicidal and blame themselves for his actions, and for making his/her world such a terrible place to live in. It seems that in each of these outlines, there is no escaping of our judgmental society, other than death itself. Society is much happier with you out of it, and they are happy to move on with their lives. So self-murder becomes an appealing option as a sanctuary from civilisation. But that's not the only option.

No, there is another option, and it is called triumph. Whilst we can't change the past, and the future is the inevitable of the past, there seems no escape of tragedy. But sometimes we can forget that the present itself becomes part of the past, hence, the future is the result of it. Our actions now, become part of the forever growing past. Our actions now, determine the future. If you are drowning in the downfall of your life, you need to stop panicking yourself into a frenzy. You need to stretch your body out, and learn to swim with it. You need to exercise your experience, let it make you wiser. As your strength develops, you will be able to swim faster and easier — the resistance against you will weaken and fail to restrain you. The fascinating thing about your turning point, is that no matter how weakened you are, there is always a super strength that can push you away from rock bottom, back to the surface of life. This super strength is called hope, and it always leads to triumph.

And what does society think of triumph? There are mixed opinions: some stand in awe of your achievement, when all seemed doomed for you; others welcome you with new-found respect, because of your long and hard journey; and, of course, people will envy you and will try to get you down by reminding you of your tarnished past. But the thing about that last group is that they're already drowning in their own lives — they don't believe in hope or change. They are none the wiser of your experience because they are yet to do it.

The future awaits us. But only hope gives us the chance of a victorious one.

~ James Kanjo


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