Nutella? Nutino? Hazelnut Spreads
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Because I am a human being, I have an innate addiction to hazelnut-chocolate spreads. It takes only one mg to touch my tongue before I instinctively lurch forward to devour the entire source. But damn it can be an expensive addiction! So when I look at all of the varieties that Coles, I wonder which brand to take?

  • Do you take the cheapest?
  • Do you take the most expensive?
  • Do you take the brand-name?
  • Or do you take the nut-free variety with the goodness of calcium?

Today I was making this decision, when I decided “Hey! Why don't I buy all of them at once so I can make a valid side-by-side comparison?”. So I did.

The brands for show are:

Coles hazelnut spread Nutino nutella Nut Free Choc ezy
3437627636_4704e9d541.jpg nutino_jar.gif nutella.jpg Choc_Ezy_Milk_Choc.jpg

Here's the raw data:

Quantity Price $/gram1
Coles hazelnut spread 400g $2.99 .007
Nutino 400g $3.89 .010
nutella 220g $3.15 .014
Nut Free Choc ezy 245g $3.49 .014

I'm sure we're not surprised to know that nutella is the most expensive spread (.01 of a cent more expensive than Nut Free Choc ezy).

But what are the physical comparisons?

Spreadability2 Nutiness Sweetness
Coles hazelnut spread Medium Slightly nutty Very sweet
Nutino Soft Very nutty Slightly sweet
nutella Hard Moderately nutty Moderately sweet
Nut Free Choc ezy ? Nut Free3 ?

The Coles brand spread is the cheapest spread. It's somewhat easy to spread, has a slight nutty flavour and is very sweet. It is almost a sickly sweet. That is, it's not overly sweet, but it's close to it. Overall, it's a very good substitute if you're on a budget, and kids seem to be immune to extremely sweet foods anyway =P

Nutino, the second cheapest variety, is the softest spread. It's very easy to spread on foods (such as bread in sandwiches). It has the nuttiest flavour of them all, with a hint of sweetness to it.

Although nutella is the hardest spread, its thick quality has the highest texture appeal in the mouth. It's moderately nutty as it's moderately sweet, making it a great all-rounder. However, it comes with a price, and the most expensive one at that.

DO NOT CONSUME CHOC EZY. You have been warned…
The smell alone is putrid enough to ward you off. But when I put it into my mouth, I threw up at once, and my back was shivering for 5 minutes flat. I've NEVER tasted anything so disgusting in all my life. I find it hard to believe from the taste that there IS any "goodness of calcium". On second thought, calcium in its purest form is highly toxic, so perhaps it is full of calcium (albeit, the "badness" of it). It's revolting, and I would be mortified to hear that a parent feeds their child that poisonous "Choc Spread".

In case you were wondering why there were question marks in the "spreadability" and "sweetness" columns of the Choc ezy, I didn't dare put another molecule of the substance in my mouth to find out. Let alone the risk of permanently contaminating my spoon.

On the whole, if you want the best tasting hazelnut spreads, choose between nutella and Nutino. You may choose Nutino if you intend to make many sandwiches with it. If you're on a budget, go for the Coles hazelnut spread: I certainly rate it highly, and is a brilliant substitute for those financially tough times. You may even prefer the extra sweetness it contains. But above all, STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM Pantalica's Choc Ezy! Consumption is nothing short of hell on earth.

~ James Kanjo

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